I wanted to blog about Judgement as this Is one of the 5 biggest fears that people encounter. (I have blogged about the Fear of Failure as another fear). We have all experienced some level of judgement. This can be something as simple as someone not liking the food you cooked. Or it could be something huge like a speech you orated was criticized harshly on social media. Whatever the level of judgement that you may have encountered, it is how you deal with the judgement. Will you allow this to stun you and cause you sadness or fear? Or will you allow to look at this from a lesson standpoint?
Now I personally know how hard it is for people to judge me with the work I do. I do have clients that will contact me and tell me how wonderful their readings were and it really helped them via email or text. I love when I get these messages as it gives me such joy that I could help someone! I always say the biggest compliment is to either give me a referral or a review! However, I have had a few negative reviews over the years that were very harsh. This was hard for me, as this brought up a lot of fear. I couldn’t contain my negative thinking because of this. Thoughts of: What would other people think when they read it? What was written by this client was not truth, but I can’t say that publicly! How will people trust my work? Will people not want to contact me because of this? And there were many more thoughts, as well as, hurt feelings.
As I beat myself over this, I knew I did my best and gave accurate information. However, doing your best is sometimes not enough! Sometimes you must change your perspective and find out what the “lesson” is for you. The lesson for me in this situation was to understand not everyone is looking for truth or advice given. Some people only want to hear what they want to hear. Others don’t want to do the work suggested and nothing changes. I had to understand this and let the judgement of these reviews go. Now, I want to tell you that this is not an easy task! Trust me! This has been a work in progress to say the least. However, it has been a good lesson for me to remember, I only can give the message, it is up to the client to either take it or not. Since I have worked on this lesson, it has helped me considerable to let go of the judgement. As well as, I read a wonderful book that talks about judgement that a student of mine gave to me called “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. She quotes Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” In his speech he says:
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strive valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”
Basically, what Roosevelt says, is you are the one “in the arena,” taking on the vulnerability, the other person is not, so just go for it! Throw your hands up and say, “I am going for it!” I rather say I failed BIG, than not have tried! So, the next time someone is judging you, what will you do? I know what I am doing, I am getting in “the Arena” for the next round!
