Today I wanted to write about “why we cannot change someone else’s journey” as this has been coming up lately in several of my client’s readings. Many times clients will ask me how they can help a loved one though a situation. This is a very caring gesture on the part of the client however many times it not for them to fix. I know this may sound harsh but let me explain. Everyone wants to assist and support our loved ones through troubling times however there are lessons each of us has to learn. When a loved one tries to help another on one’s journey, they may actually be hindering them for learning the lesson about a particular situation. To demonstrate, a mother continues to give money to her son and allows him to live with her. She wants to take care of him because she doesn’t want him to live on the streets. However, this is enabling the son to continue to use this money for drugs and not get a job or live on his own. Do you see the cycle that this created? The mother was trying to help her son but internally has hindered her son! She allowed for his behavior and actions to continue and thus he hasn’t learned his lesson to move on from drugs. Another reason it’s important not to try and change another person’s journey is that, this lesson that that individual was supposed to learn, might end up becoming part of YOUR lesson! I understand a person may be trying to help another, however sometimes this leads to interference for the lesson, which in turn you take that lesson on yourself. Think about this for a minute. Have you tried to help someone and it actually created a bigger situation where you had to take on situation yourself? To demonstrate, you allowed for your sister to come and stay with you for an agreed upon month, while she got back on her feet. Well now we are at 6 months later and she is still living with you and hasn’t done anything to get back on her feet! Sound familiar? You actually just took on her lesson as you are now supporting her, instead of her supporting herself! Now I want to point out that there are times that we all need some help in our lives, so don’t get me wrong here. We sometimes just need someone to help us straighten out a situation to make it better. However the lessons above that I am speaking of are the people that do this ALL THE TIME! Think of it as the person who is always playing victim! You know who I am talking about! Nothing seems “to go right” for them and they are always “having chaos” in their lives. These are the people that I am talking about! You CANNOT change their journey! The reason for this is that their lesson is for them NOT to play victim in this lifetime! Does that now make sense?
How to Help a Loved One Who Does Play Victim
The best way to help a loved one who favors playing a victim is to call upon the Angels. I ask the angels to help whisper in their ears about the lesson. Or they may give a sign to the loved one or maybe they will have someone recommend a book to read regarding the situation. I tell my clients use this as a “backdoor” in assisting your loved one! The client will not be taking on the lesson for the person, but will feel like they are working on the back end to help their loved one! I also let them know that you don’t need to let your loved one know that you are using the
angels! Let it be a surprised when the situation with the loved one changes and see what they say then! Finally, we are all here to learn different lessons on our journeys. Some of the lessons may be harder than others but we all go through tough times. It is when we try and “fix” a lesson for another is when the issue may become a problem. Discerning “what is helping” versus “what is enabling” is the key here. Do not allow the victim type individuals to manipulate you! In the end, it will only hinder you and you will take on another lesson that is not yours!